untitled.

This is a post I wrote over a year ago and discovered in my unpublished drafts the other day. I'm not sure why I never posted it...but it's as true now as it was 12 months ago...so here you go.

We three Boersma's can't believe Christmas is over. Which is why we plan to leave the tree up until February, open presents to each other this week, party like animals on NYE, celebrate with extended family and grandparents in January, and keep the Christmas music BLARING for as long as we can.

Christmas is our favorite time of year, for sure. I knew this year would be different with a baby to travel with, but other than a couple semi-sleepless nights (because I CANNOT sleep in the same room as my loud-breathing, farting, lip-smacking child) all went smoothly. So smoothly that Maverick is sleeping through the night in foreign environments (including the basement utility room and walk-in closets) and napping like an Olympic champion as we speak. Woo!

Becoming a parent has made me annoyingly reflective during the holidays. I know...I disguise it well, but my heart is heavy. Maybe this year was just a doozey for tragedies...I don't know. My uncle died from heart surgery complications in May...a Salt Company student died suddenly of an appendix rupture in November...an ISU freshmen was killed in a hit and run the week before Christmas...a Cornerstone family said goodbye to their precious newborn baby girl last week...and a friend from my home church mourns the loss of her fiance and mom killed by a drunk driver every year at this time.

That poor girl's' parents were expecting their baby to be coming home for Christmas after she took her finals and instead they got a call from the Ames Police saying she was hit by a car, the person drove off, and she died in the hospital.

I. Cannot. Even. Imagine.

These stories break my heart and I don't even know the people involved. Instead I hold my Maverick tighter, cuddle him longer, and pray that nothing like this ever happens because I think it would actually kill me. I vow to watch him like a hawk, never allow a skinned knee, a broken arm from a bike ramp, or stitches from the gutter at the swimming pool...

Except I know that's not how it works.

That precious Salt Company student was surrounded by 20 of her friends praying, worshiping, and pleading with God for a miracle during her last night on earth and the next morning she died. Instead of telling the story of a healing miracle...her family ended up planning her funeral.

And though it's hard to understand why it happened, I know that God is still good.

This little Maverick of ours was a gift. He's basically 'on loan' to us and we get to parent him for his time with us but he has always belonged to God. We can shelter him and I can desperately try to keep him from riding in cars with crazy 16-year old boys who want to do donuts in icy parking lots (wait...that's also a description of his father)...but God has a plan for his life that will probably include a few broken bones, split lips, and tears...but it might also include cancer, a tragic car accident, or severe special needs. And if it does, it will insanely hard, but I'll know that God is still good.

The responsibility of raising this little boy is a big one and it's not something we take lightly. I'm thrilled that I get to watch this little human grow and change every day and I get to see it all from my front seat view as a SAHM. It's the heartbreak of the impending unexpected tragedies that I literally can't handle on my own as these stories played out one after another this year...the empathy and pain I felt for the friends, siblings, and especially the parents was heartbreaking. And the shock from it all...more than anyone should have to bear.

...but that's the thing. WE don't have to.

I found myself accidentally crying in the shower last week. To quote The Grinch, my actual first thought when this happened was..."WHAT IS THE DEAL?" This is soooooo NOT me. And I refuse to spend anymore of my precious shower time crying over what-ifs. I have a healthy wonderful baby to raise and enjoy HERE AND NOW. God already knows all the possible what-ifs and he's not worried about it...so why should I be?

Maybe you wouldn't expect this, but I tend to be the more laid-back parent in this family. Josh is always wanting to take Maverick's temperature "just in case" and change his diaper every 10 minutes and check on him all night long and I remind him (as much for me to hear as it is for him)... "God can take better care of our baby than we can." We physically can.not. be awake 24 hours a day watching over Maverick. We can't be in his room all night making sure he's safe while he sleeps. And none of that would be remotely healthy. We care for him to the absolute best of our ability, but when we can't or when we fall short...our heavenly Father will be there to pick up the slack.

A few weeks ago at connection group we talked about how reminding ourselves when life is 'easy' that God is good, His plan is perfect, and memorizing scripture to reiterate those truths is important...because then when hard times come that truth will be locked in brains and our hearts. When it's a struggle to remember how God's plan could be perfect in the midst of such pain, we won't need to rely on our own feelings and emotions, we can fall back on what we already know to be true. I feel like practicing this now when Mav is little (and it's relatively easy) is important.

So a week ago when Maverick was up in the night and I had him all to myself...I prayed over him for the millionth time but this time, I gave him back to Jesus. It was weird, but in my heart I totally gave him over to God...because how else could I possibly handle a tragedy like one of these stories if I don't? I might be able to muscle through tantrums and the daily mom-gind stuff 'on my own' but why? There is absolutely NO other way to take on this parenting gig than with Jesus by our side. It became so clear to me as I heard one sad story after another, stories completely out of anyone's control. This time, my prayer meant more than the words we said at his dedication...more than claiming him to be our 'gift from God' on his baby announcement...he literally belongs to Jesus period. The Father who I so desperately want to occupy his heart someday can love and care for him WAY better than Josh and I could ever hope to.

Every minute we get to be Maverick's parents is an undeserved gift that God could choose to take away at any minute as part of His perfect plan. But whatever happens, I'll know that He is always good.

MmB

on accidentally becoming an introvert.

How we prefer to party these days...at our house, in comfy clothes, once Mav is in bed.

I'm not sure when it happened. But I know it's happened since becoming a mom.

I went into this thinking I would be the type of mom to crave constant social interaction...and have playdates and outings and trips scheduled with friends every day of the week. I was more than ready to beat those lonely SAHM blues because I'm an extrovert! I love talking! I am Mollie!

As it turns out, I love doing those things all the time...
Except, actually the opposite is true.

I literally want to crawl into a cave when my phone rings and it's anyone besides Josh. I suddenly LOATHE talking on the phone. Unless I'm driving and I initiate the phone call to my mom for a chat. I'm not sure why a panic attack ensues when I hear that stupid iPhone ring...but it does. This is very new for me.

If I have more than one thing 'booked' per day? Just kill me now. On Wednesday I had a coffee date with a gal and her little peanut at Burgie's and it was great! I came home and said, "Josh I made a new mom-friend! It was so fun!" After this coffee date, I spent a couple hours hanging out with a family friend who has autism (the point of our time together was making conversation) and that was also super fun. I was surprised at how awesome I was doing handling THIS MUCH social interaction in one day. That was until everyone left, I realized there was nothing on my calendar until Friday night...and I proceeded to spend the next two days without leaving the house, living a leggings + zero makeup existence.

Every month a couple girls at our church throw this thing called 'Third Thursday' and it always sounds so awesome. They plan a craft or some kind of activity along with a fun themed-supper. Last night they wanted everyone to wear pajamas, bring breakfast food, and we were going to sit around some discussion questions painting our nails.

If that doesn't have MOLLIE written all over it, I'm not sure what does.

I haven't able to attend in previous month's for various reasons, but I was about 75% sure I was going to pull it together and go this month. I was even a little excited. That was until Maverick decided to walk around the house throwing a nonstop tantrum from 5:00 to 7:00 (it's a delightful phase we're in)...at which point I put him to bed an hour early then locked myself in the bathroom for a hot bath in coconut oil, the latest episode of This is Us, and a glass of wine.

I wasn't angry. I didn't yell at either of my boys. I just needed 45 minutes of silence before I could act like a person again. I emerged at 8:00 ready to eat chips and salsa and watch New Girl with Josh, as is our usual weeknight tradition. Some moms would have probably been dying to leave the house after an exceptionally bad night like this one, but not me. The very idea of leaving the house sent me running straight for my yoga pants.

Disclaimer: The last time I took a bath was when I was pregnant. Jamie texted me at 8:00 asking for a picture of Mav and I replied with, "He went to bed at 7:15" She goes, "He's already asleep?!" I said, "I don't know. I took a bath." And she immediately understood. 

Church on Sunday just about does me in if I'm serving in a classroom, attending church, and then meeting for Connection Group (which is what's going down this Sunday). Sunday's are the reason we don't leave the house on Monday's. I like to pretend it's because we're recovering from a busy weekend (which is sometimes the case!) but really it's because I want to hibernate. I loooove hibernating. Maverick does not love it so much.

The impending ice storm was really a thrill for me because I knew it meant I had a perfectly valid excuse to stay home. #praisehands

The thing is, I never regret meeting up for a play date, grabbing coffee with a friend, or hitting the library with Mav. I just really have to make an effort these days to want to do those things...which is the struggle for many introverts, I imagine (I find it's especially hard during these winter months). And because Mav loves climbing in the play place at Chick-Fil-A and playing with other kiddos at church playgroup, I'll be putting my new-introvert tendencies aside. I prefer connecting with other moms and their kiddos in a low-key one-on-one setting (I blame Josh's extended family for this one...40+ people gathering for Christmas in one house? I'll be hiding in the bathroom, kthanks.) but I've even blocked out Tuesday mornings for those big, crazy church play dates this semester too.

So...anyone want to drink coffee and sit at the library with me while we try to keep our babies from putting dirty Legos in their mouths?

MmB

422 13th St Xmas House Tour FINALE: Master Bedroom

It's the moment you've all been waiting for! The day I finally finish our Christmas house tour (how did this take take eight days? Our house isn't even that big!)! I know you're all jumping up and down.

The big tree is still up in our house...last night Josh goes, "Can you imagine if we only had ONE tree in our house like most people do?!" It took seven Christmases folks, but my precious husband is fully on board with a tree being in every room. An idea he once thought to be completely crazy. #winning

As we do when it goes up on Thanksgiving every year, we've made plans to order pizza and watch Inglorious Bastard's on Sunday night (after we've officially had our last family Christmas) while undecorating the big tree. 15 days in...we might finally be ready to tackle our goals and plans for 2017. Haha.

I've worked pretty hard on our bedroom the past couple of months. It started with selling the unused elliptical followed by a semi-impulsive speed-trip to IKEA for a black dresser (because I was sick of Maverick having bigger and better storage in his room than we did). Then I painted my old beat-up dresser from college, swapped out the hardware, and repaired and hung an antique mirror I'd been meaning to get to forever. Back in August, my main goal was to have everything deep-cleaned, organized, and in place so I could fully enjoy our bedroom at Christmastime without it feeling stuffed and cluttery...and I like to think I achieved that.

A panorama shot of most of our room. Not huge, but oh-so-cozy. 

Originally I wanted to keep this room free of bright Christmas reds, but it's so hard for me to decorate without throwing a few pops of color in. I also needed to find a good spot for this red pillow. ;) 

I picked up some fresh flannel sheets at Wal-Mart before Christmas this year in a more neutral color so we can keep them on our bed through the winter if we want.

I'll tell you something...this cotton wreath looks amazing no matter where I put it. This is the fourth place it's been and it stays out 12-months of the year! I just added some berries and a sign when I stuck it to the french door in our room with a Command Hook.

Maybe it's because this is something I see in magazines...it's not practical at all, but I like that it adds some color and interest to the foot of the bed. If you've been a house guest in the past three months, you will be happy to know all decorative trays have been removed and I just finished taking three decorative pillows off the guest bed. You're welcome, I guess.

There's the dresser I drove six-hours round-trip for...chatting with my sister-in-law almost every minute the whole way. ;) It was well worth it. The tree in here kind of evolved into what I call our "Everything Tree"...all of our special ornaments got mixed in with silver, brown, gold, and cotton. 

Switching pictures in frames around our house to Christmas is such an easy cheap thing to do. That truck picture is just one I found on Pinterest and printed, but it's one of my favorites!

Eventually I added a garland to the top of that mirror...the cotton in the corner is so perfect for adding height wherever I need it.

A little detail shot of our tree. Ignore the tag that I suddenly see poking out from a string of lights. I just wanted to show everything I used. Lights, thick gold ribbon, silver beads, hymnals, cotton, brown and silver ornaments, and then all of our special things as the finishing touch. 

I hope you enjoyed this (by now) very late tour of our house at Christmas. I'm off to make some homemade chicken noodle soup on this cold as (insert descriptive word of your choosing) day. ;) My aunt and cousin we never get to see are traveling our way for family Christmas this weekend and we get to spend tonight and tomorrow morning with them all to ourselves...so the Christmas music is BACK ON in the house today! :)

If you missed out on the tour excitement...here it is:
Kitchen
Dining Room
Bathrooms
Hallway/Cloffice
Living Room
Maverick's Room
Guest Bedroom

MmB

422 13th St House Xmas Tour: Guest BedLaundry Room

The first of our three bedrooms was up yesterday on the blog...and today I'm sharing our Guest Bedroom, which coincidentally, doubles as our laundry room. Aaand also functions as my sewing/crafting/wrapping/scrapbooking/spare closet room. I love getting creative with the limited space we have. This room works hard for us, but it does it so well.

You may have seen my status about 'accidentally painting our guest bedroom' amidst all the Christmas decorating. It's a long story, but one minute I was opening a can of paint for some touch-ups and the next minute I was brush painting an entire room without paint clothes on as fast as I could to beat the naptime clock. It took about three naptimes (an an annoying trip to Lowe's for more paint) to completely finish. And now it feels lighter and brighter...and fits the colors of the rest of the house better.

This is a cheap white shelf Josh threw up a few years ago with some L-brackets and I like adding garland in here at Christmas to make the laundry room feel a *little* more like a bedroom. The rest of the year it holds jars and baskets of laundry supplies.

I know these don't make any sense because people are always having to move them when they sleep in a bed at our house...but they're cute and they add Christmas cheer. So just, ok?

Josh took my desk out to the Man Cave and we moved this table from our farm into the laundry room instead. I love the look but I'm still trying to figure out a way for it to function as well as my desk did (since I no longer have drawers for storage). I like that I can flip the leaves up for more room to sew...but again...the storage thing. I'll report back with my findings once I can tackle this room again this spring.

This is the area on top of my metal shelving...It's just a bare spot that needed a little color. I threw these odds and ends up there and called it decor. 

Our rooms always evolve throughout the Christmas season...I added a plaid pillow and also a white body pillow to make this bed look bigger and fuller. And that brought the pillow count in here to 9. :S I can assure you we are simplifying significantly when I switch out the bedding. 

And because I always like to show you what our house looks like when it's lit up at night...

The last room in our house is up tomorrow...then Christmas will officially be over in my house AND in my heart. ;) I'm already enjoying the cleaner, fresher look we have here...uncluttering feels SO good. It also suddenly feels like we live in a mansion! 

MmB

422 13th St Xmas House Tour: Maverick's Room

Taking on a 'boy' room when we found out Maverick was a Maverick was a little daunting. No pink. No princesses. No glitter. Completely foreign for me. But I have to say, it's ties the living room for the title of  my 'favorite' in this house...especially at Christmastime.

I stick to neutrals in here too, which makes swapping out seasonal decor and rotating different signs Maverick has pretty simple. This Christmas I decided to throw in some red because I'm a complete sucker for buffalo plaid. But you already knew that. Maverick even got buffalo plaid flannel sheets (justified by the decision to keep him in his crib until he's 3 ;) because of my plaid addiction.

Daddy was given TWO Charlie Brown trees last year and I love the tiny pop of red on each side of the dresser.

Yes, that IS a coon skin cap for a tree topper. #boymom

This is literally just a picture of the sheets, but how great are they?! Not bad for $17.

That's 'The Night Before Christmas' written in cursive on the chalk door. Jamie was initially excited to help me with this, but didn't realize how LONG that poem actually is. I let her quit early because her lunch break was up, but that empty rectangle bugged me all season. ;)

Maverick "helping" decorate.

We even managed to accomplish a few projects during the holiday season. Josh's handyman list tends to spiral out of control during the ten months of the year he's working nonstop. Here's Maverick "helping" with some of that too.

And because we prefer to add to Maverick's book collection vs. his toy collection...this is what we ended up with at the end of the year! We have exactly 25...and thanks to an idea my sister-in-law told me about...I plan to wrap each book so Mav can open one every night before bed during the 25 days of Christmas next year. Based on our experience this year, he won't care about 24/25 because he only wants us to read 'Goodnight Manger' on repeat every. single. night.

We only made it through about 30 minutes of the each of the classics (Elf, Grinch, Peanuts, Home Alone, Rudolph, Frozen, Polar Express) with Maverick...we hit 'pause,' did the bedtime routine, and came back out to the living room to finish watching them ourselves...so it all worked out. ;)

And fitting with the woodland theme I have going on in here...a reindeer sign for the door. ;)

Only two rooms left to go in our Christmas House Tour! And as we speak the only part of Christmas that remains are the sheets on the guest bed and the big tree. It's sad but I think I'm starting to cope a little better. A fresh, clean, uncluttered house tends to do that for me.

MmB