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| Headboard + bed frame from my parents' attic (spray painted and distressed); box spring from a friend who wasn't using it; mattress from daddy's old man cave; sheets were a gift for Mav's second birthday; and one trip to Target for the rest means I finally had everything rounded up to get Mav into his Big Boy Bed! My favorite thing about Mav's room is that it easily grows with him. I can change things out here and there, without spending a lot to do a big room 'overhaul' every couple of years. It's neutral enough that it fits with the decor in the rest of the house, plus it's so easy to decorate at Christmatime. |
I know it seems odd to most that we had an almost-three-year-old in a crib but here's what I have to say about it...
Maverick does 10-12 hours per night and gives me a 2-3 hour nap each day. He's been doing this exact schedule this exact way since shortly after turning 1 so I was in NO HURRY to make a change to something that wasn't broken. There was just absolutely no reason for it. He was happy and WE WERE ALL SLEEPING. If things hadn't gone well, I would have plopped him right back in his crib for another six months until he seemed more ready and felt no shame in doing that! Doing what works for our family has always been my priority.
When I pushed aside my silly selfish desire for wanting to buy bedding for a cute twin bed and the occasional comments from people about my grown toddler still in a sleep sack and crib, Maverick himself was giving me no real cues that it was necessary to make the switch. I simply waited until he was ready. We added a pillow in his crib sometime last year. We added an actual blanket shortly after. I felt like it was too much to ask him to sleep well in a new house, in a brand new room, far away from mom and dad AND be in a new bed, so I was happy to wait it out a bit longer.
Taking advice from a friend who does these kinds of transitions a [convenient] year before I do...we casually started talking about sleeping in a big boy bed. We talked and talked about it. We 'pretend slept' in our bed and talked about it some more. Then finally when I had some time for a project, we spray painted his headboard together. Mav spent a morning watching me put the whole thing together and the anticipation about killed him. It was even more obvious that he was ready.
I just have this thing about big transitions. Yes, I believe it's important to train your kid to obey and I'm confident I could have 'trained' Maverick into a big bed much earlier. I could have spent a week listening and watching the monitor and spanked him if he was sitting up or playing or getting out. But is it really so bad to listen to your kiddos on things like this? Just follow their lead and go for it when they show readiness?
I rest in the camp that it is not. So while we consistently train Maverick to obey what we ask, when it comes to big transitions, I slow way down and try not to expect too much from him. It's the reason I wasn't in a big rush to shove rice cereal and solids down his throat at six months. It's why we won't push and fight over potty training when I can tell he's not ready. Part of my job is to listen to my kid and work to understand the best way to raise him and train him, despite what seems 'normal' for everyone else.
And in all honestly, none of this was my idea. My friend Carley has been coaching me from the beginning when I'd ask, "So like, when are we done with the sleep sack?? Is it weird he's still in one?" And she was like, "I'd order them in a size 2T if it were me!" I think it's easy to get caught up in that mindset when everything comes SO FAST in their first year. They're in the swing, then they're done with it. They use the Bumbo, then they're done. They love their jumper and when they're done and you finally put that huge piece of colorful plastic away, you're looking for what the NEXT BIG THING will be. And that's right about the time they slow down.
I think 40% of our success with the big boy bed was Maverick showing readiness. I think probably 40% is his personality...he's not super daring, brave, crazy. And then I will claim that 20% is our parenting. We have demanded Maverick be on a solid sleeping schedule (that we dictate) from Day 1 (and I'll remind you he was NOT 'just a good sleeper' during his first year, it was HARD WORK). Nap time and bedtime are not a surprise. They are not negotiable. They happen every day, consistently, no matter where we are or what we're doing (Mav has slept in walk-in closets, storage rooms, utility closets. secretary offices during the middle of a bridal shower out at church). Our sleep routine has never been dramatic, it's a variation of diaper change/PJ's/blankie/sound machines/2-3 books/quick cuddle and then we shut the door for 12 hours. Sometimes he falls asleep in five minutes, sometimes he falls asleep after an hour and a half. Either way, I'm not stressed about it. I've set him up for success to get the sleep he needs and he has yet to get out of his bed while he's falling asleep or once he's awake.
All that to say, here are a few things that have made the transition easier:
1. We went straight into a twin bed. I didn't want to deal with ANOTHER transition down the road into a twin, I just wanted to hit it and forget it. I didn't want to buy special toddler-bed-sized bedding either. We also already had a twin bed + frame laying around...it was cheap and easy to just use what we had.
2. We used pool noodles as 'side-rail-bumpers' instead of those white mesh walls that keep kids in...I didn't want to look at those for a year and Mav has never been a real crazy sleeper. So I decided they weren't necessary. He picked two colorful pool noodles to go under the fitted sheet and they've worked really well (he fell out once, but didn't even cry and apparently got right back into bed in the night...woke up with a bruise on his forehead and told me about it).
3. We bought a video monitor a couple months ago when we moved Mav into his room at our new house. I have a lot of thoughts about video monitors, but it was pretty clear we'd need one in this house the way the bedrooms are set up. I'm actually really glad we never had one as brand-new, first-time parents because it made it the sleep routine a lot less obsessive (Josh would have been watching Mav NONSTOP) and now it makes lazy parenting a lot easier (we can talk into it and tell Mav to lay down WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO LEAVE THE COUCH IN THE BASEMENT).
4. We're only using the fitted sheet on Mav's twin bed until he's a little older and can handle that much bedding. It just seemed like too much for him to get tangled up in and I like nice, made beds every day...it added to the work.
5. We kept the crib up for the first couple of days. Even though we ended up not needing it, I wanted an escape hatch in case my big plans for this transition crashed and burned. I didn't want to feel trapped into forcing the big boy bed on Maverick and keeping the crib up helped my mindset. It would have been so easy to just pop a crib sheet back on the mattress and keep it up in the center of his bedroom (while we continued talking about the big boy bed) until he was ready.
