Maverick's Birth Story

Fair warning, this will probably be the most boring birth story you've ever read...but it's how it went down and to be quite honest...I wouldn't have had it any other way. I actually sort of loved it.

Based on the fact that everyone was telling me an average of four times per week, "You can never be prepared for labor and childbirth!" I thought to myself...ok. Perfect. I won't be. That saves me a lot of reading and worrying and wasting a Saturday at a birthing class. Yes everyone, we skipped the birthing classes because Josh was busy working and I didn't want to go by myself. The breastfeeding class that was recommended seemed silly to me because how do you practice breastfeeding when you DONT HAVE A BABY TO PRACTICE WITH?? And the birthing wing tour that was also recommended seemed downright ridiculous because...won't we be spending three to four days in the birthing wing? Probably a couple hours walking around? Once we got to the hospital, we took our own tour in minutes, found the apple juice and the ice machine and we were set.

We went into this with zero expectations and no real 'birthing plan' to speak of...though I wasn't totally in the dark because I was in the room when my sister-in-law had our nephew last December.

So on Thursday the 27th (pardon the wrong date in my last post) my doctor told me she was on call on Monday the 31st and since I would be past 40 weeks we could schedule an induction. She said it would probably be a long day (first baby...I assumed this was a given) but I didn't really care so I scheduled it, called Josh to tell him, and away we went.

Monday morning the 31st we packed up the car, did a clean sweep of the house, made Jamie wake up to take one last picture of us, and drove to the hospital to check in by 7:30am. It was a little surreal just waltzing up to the birthing floor of the hospital and being like, "Hi ya we're here to have a baby." We got a room at the far end of the wing (which made us feel like we were the only ones in the hospital during our stay) and I started organizing and settling our bags. 

Nurses came to check me in, put in my IV port, and ask me a bunch of questions. Now...I had a list of things on my phone that I wanted to make sure I had clearly communicated because, like I said, I had the opportunity to watch my sister-in-law give birth and had made a few observations and decisions back in December about how I'd like to handle certain situations. So we hit the ground running...

The nurses asked me to put on the hospital gown with the open back and requested I have NOTHING on underneath. For the foreseeable future.

Ehhhh. That wasn't going to work for me. I had a comfy and cute labor outfit planned and I was not going to be walking the halls for hours in that monstoricty for who knows how long. So I let them IV me and break my water (at approx. 8:30am) in the hospital gown but they let me put my gray nightgown and robe AND BRA on right after. With the understanding that I would need to change when it was time for the epidural. Fiiiine with me.

My goal for my time at the hospital (besides having a baby) was to try and feel as comfortable and as much like 'myself' as possible. This included sparkly hospital bags, cute and coordinated outfits, and mascara on at all times.

Among the questions about smoking, drug use, and drinking during pregnancy...came the questions about breastfeeding and skin-to-skin contact. I was ready to answer these...I was up for the good old college try with breastfeeding (it's going well btw and I've lost 30 pounds so we will be riding that train as long as possible or at least until I decide it's weird), but the skin-to-skin...I was very clear about them wiping Maverick off before handing him to me. VERY clear. And to my surprise, they added it to my chart and didn't even argue with me. 

But they circled back around to the bra thing. Saying it would need to be off in order to do proper skin-to-skin after he had arrived. I pretended to be agreeable but had no plans of being naked and bra-less in a room full of people AT ANY POINT no matter what was recommended.

This is how we rocked skin-to-skin cuddling in the hospital. Fully clothed aaaaand appropriate.

There was a shift change with nurses and my new nurse suggested to me in order to get things 'going naturally' we could try 'nipple stimulation'...to which I point blank replied, 'ummm no that creeps me out.' I was sweet but direct and those amazing nurses at Mary Greeley basically let me to whatever I wanted. Which did NOT include nipple stimulation. She left and Josh said, 'Uhhh what did they mean by that?' And once I explained he agreed...it's creepy.

I never hopped in the whirlpool, but had that happened, I was prepared. Yes folks, I threw in my cheetah swimsuit because there was no way I was going to be getting in and out of a bathtub in front of strangers and Josh completely naked. It was just not going to happen. My mom said I was being ridiculous but I still think taking a swimsuit was a great idea and I would totally recommend it.

Josh and I walked some halls for a couple hours, watched The Today Show, Josh snuck me an iced vanilla latte from Burgie's aaaand around noon we got news from one of the mowing crews that a mower had gone down in Ankeny. We live stupidly close to the hospital and it was already looking like we would need to settle in because the fireworks were going to take a while...so Josh ran to Ankeny and back in about an hour and we agreed to start pitocin as soon as he got back.

At 2:00pm, six hours after my water broke, nothing had changed. Seriously. They started me on pitocin, upping it every half hour and I sent Josh home to get all our seasons How I Met Your Mother since now it was very clear we would be in for the long haul. Which I was fine with. This was scheduled, everything was taken care of, and my only job was to sit there and get ready to have a baby, no matter how long it took.

At this time, I hadn't had a single painful contraction. They kept telling me I was having them, but I barely felt anything. This was all BEFORE the epidural, mind you. After I was at the max dosage of pitocin that they were willing to give me (25 ML or something?) I was STILL not feeling anything. We watched TBS and I remember contractions  starting to hurt around the time Seinfeld was on...which is between 6 and 7 I think? I waited them out until I couldn't 'talk' through them anymore and my Anastesioligist Savior arrived with that glorious epidural around 10pm...After I had given in and changed into the hospital gown. 

And then I was in heaven. Josh and I just relaxed and cuddled and watched more HIMYM and slept all night. It was truly amazing. My sleep was interrupted every half hour when they came to check Mav's heart rate and my blood pressure (at one point I was soooo relaxed my blood pressure was at 81/53) and helped me turn over so I could sleep on my other side. But surprisingly I still had a lot of control over my body even though I was all warm and numb and tingly. Nurses kept telling me I wasn't even 'floppy' and that my 'epidural must have taken really well' and I was all like 'well thanks guys!' 

I specifically remember my favorite nurse, named Mandi...I kept mentioning how so many people have so many opinions on being induced or having epidurals and my favorite quote of the night from her was, 'All those women got to have their babies the way they wanted, and you get to have your baby the way you want.' Bless her.

Morning came and went. I requested the Today Show be turned back on because I enjoyed being distracted by meaningless news and pop culture in the midst of pushing and contractions. I got to cuddle up and lay on my side and sleep/rest in between pushes. When this process started around 9:45am, the nurse who was helping me looked at Josh and said, "Ok dad, you hold that leg and help." And I immediately thought to myself...Hmm...this is something I hadn't communicated. Immediately following that first push Josh stood up as white as the sheets and said, "I think I need to sit down." The nurses got him some toast and I had time to instruct everyone on what would happen going forward...Josh would sit beside me but he would not be holding any legs at any point thank you very much. 

A few hours went by, I changed the channel to E!, my doctor kept coming in to see how things were going, tons of nurses kept coming in and out getting everything in the room ready. I think Josh was pretty bored at this point because we'd been at this thing for more than 24 hours but time went by pretty fast for me until those last two hours. And then it was finally showtime and Maverick arrived at 12:14pm. 

Something I was a slightly shocked by. Even with an epidural, I was pretty surprised about how much everything still hurt. Some women want a natural childbirth because they want to 'feel' like they had a baby. I'm here to tell you...I FELT LIKE I HAD A BABY. I felt the whole thing for those last two hours. The contractions didn't hurt in my tummy...but the epidural doesn't cover...certain other places. I don't know how else to describe it without being offensive. Just trust me.

There was no screaming...I didn't yell at Josh...I didn't squeeze his hand off (I really only held his hand for about the last 30 seconds)...none of those cliches exist in this birth story. I know it might be obnoxious to say but labor and birth the way we did it really wasn't a big deal. I kept saying to Josh whenever he would get anxious or worried about something...women have been having babies since the beginning of time. IT IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. And it really wasn't. 

Maverick only looked like an alien for 10 minutes and I was thrilled. He had hair and I was thrilled. He had Josh's toes and I thought...well we can't have it all. ;) They cleaned him all off, wrapped him up, and Josh got to hold him for a long time while I was...in the middle of some other things. It was all perfect and I got away with keeping my bra on. Woo! Once it was time for a diaper change and I had myself together a little bit more (literally) I told the nurses we had brought our own sleeper, hat, and swaddling blanket (all coordinated and adorable) and they let us put him in whatever we wanted, WHICH I LOVED! I hate those hospital hats and blankets and I am also not a fan of sleep sacks, specifically on boys because they look like dresses...Enter: My favorite raccoon sleeper. Then rather than texting every single person on our list his information, that chalkboard I threw in saved us a lot of time and doubled as an adorable Facebook/Insta announcement.

So now that I've explained all of that about labor...I'll tell ya. After labor is a different story. I'll leave almost everything out but I'll share two quotes because...even in disgusting situations like this I was somehow still able to find humor.

To my doctor:

"Kim Kardashian said her vagina looked better after she had a baby than it did before. Was that a lie?" -Me

"She probably had some plastic surgery immediately after birth." -Dr. Gessner 

"So is that something you can do now orrrrr...??"

***Somehow my doctor was around for all 27 hours of labor AND came to check on me twice a day. I want her to schedule and deliver all our babies.***

To my nurses when I was having a bleeding issue and they were concerned:

"How are you feeling? Your face is very pale." -Nurse

"I look pale?! I tried so hard to be tan!" -Me

"Well right now your body doesn't match your face." -Nurse

And that's pretty much all. God blessed us with the most perfect gift either of us could imagine and we can't believe how adorable and wonderful (and easy!) Maverick is. He gets approximately 897 kisses per day and we love our new life and our little family of three. 

-MmB

We Scheduled Having a Baby...and Feel Great About It

I've decided I'll sort of miss maternity fashion a little. I'm hoping next time to be pregnant during fall seasons so I can explore sweater and scarf options. ;)

I'm writing this approximately 48 hours before I'm scheduled to be induced...so if I'm posting it...it's because I still 100% feel this way about our decision. Regardless of how the rest of Monday (err Tuesday) turned out...

As of 10:00 this morning (Thursday the 27th), I've officially had my final doctor appointment! Because on Monday at 7:30am I'll be strolling into the hospital with Josh and our bags and pillows ready to be induced...finally a date on the calendar for me to get excited about and to and plan around. YEEEEYEEYEE!! :) My brain has been reeling with the last minute errands and projects and to-do's to take care of. To say I'm thrilled about the plan and about OUR REAL LIVE BABY REALLY FINALLY COMING would be an understatement.

Here's the thing. This is what I wanted all along. So pending some sort of craziness this weekend...it's likely I'll be getting what I want. Josh says my life is so unfair when things turn out for me this way and I kind of have to agree...but wanting to have a scheduled induction is actually only about 15% me being selfish and 85% practical reasons for our life, specifically our business...and the longer I have to think and prepare for Monday, the MORE amazing reasons I keep coming up with!

Let me put this in the least gross way possible. There is just nothing going on...aaaaaaanywhere. We go on walks every night, I'm active and moving and walking all day every day, and I have yet to have a single pain, contraction, or just a labor-like feeling in general. I paint closets, walk around at the Farmer's Market, go shopping, unload and carry heavy groceries inside the house, go up and down the stairs organizing our storage space...and nothing. I feel totally normal. This is how it's been for 40 straight weeks, which is an incredible blessing but doesn't exactly give me hope that things will happen 'naturally' aaaaanytime soon. And judging by the fact that nothing has changed for me at my past three appointments, I'm in no mood to sit around and wait for two more weeks only to find that I haven't changed and we still end up with the same scenario/result. We have stuff to do. People to plan around. Chemical applications to get done. And on Monday, at 40 weeks 3 days we will be getting this baby show on the road.

Boersma Lawn Care is still rocking and rolling due to all this rain. Which is so SO great. Josh has chemicals to get down, employees to manage, and 100+ customers to keep happy. All great problems to have and now that we know Monday is the day, we can plan for all of this accordingly. The bank deposit is done, bills are paid, invoices have been sent out through Sunday, employees know the plan, and my favorite part...Josh isn't stuck somewhere down in Des Moines when I go into labor. Meaning he would be stressed, have to race back to Ames, shower, get dressed, and THEN pay attention to me. I can't imagine a more perfect morning than us waking up, grabbing a light breakfast, and heading to the hospital together relaxed and calm. 

Family can plan accordingly. My parents will be coming to visit from slightly farther away than the Boersma family, so they've put in for their day off, my mom is working extra hours here and there, and we've made arrangements to organize the grandparents for their visits. Too many people all converging on the hospital at once sounds overwhelming and terrible, so I've managed to strategically spread visits throughout the week. Keeping in mind that Josh will be working almost right away, and that's when I'll be needing my momma the most.

My doctor said she was on call Monday, asked if that worked for me, and I said YES PLEASE. Not that I've spent a ton of time with her because I like to keep visits quick and to the point...but she's sweet and nice and I'll be more comfortable with her than I would be a doctor I'd never even met before...so the fact that I get to have the lovely person I've been seeing for the past 40 weeks is pretty great. I wasn't super excited about going into labor in the middle of the night, entering the hospital through the ER exit, and getting whoever was available. I mean...it wasn't a huge deal to me either, but this...this is kind of perfect.

I've asked our insurance man All The Questions necessary, I know exactly what we need to do to get baby added to insurance ASAP and we are all squared away there. I feel like that might have been one of those last-minute things that I totally overlooked until someone mentioned it, and then I would have had a panic attack. No thanks.

Libby is set to come snap official newborn pics on Friday. Not only that, I mailed her check in advance so Future Mollie didn't have to think about it. This isn't really that big of a deal, just another 'perk' I've added to the list. :)

We are currently managing two rental properties, and a total of five renters...they're also all taken care of. I've touched base with all of them about how/when they will be delivering rent and it will all be arriving to our house promptly on September 1st. Speaking of September 1st...those pesky property taxes that I seem to overlook until the last minute every year are also taken care of as of today. I love it when a plan comes together.

We had hoped that my best-friend-and-nurse Kylie could make it to be with us during the whole sha-bang...another reason I was happy to know in advance since she would have been traveling from Omaha...but as it turns out she works on Monday and Tuesday. Plans fell through there a little, but I was still glad we could KNOW definitively that she can/can't come.

Our favorite little, dependable, pray-er is at the ready for Monday and excited to pray. Katie Kascel I'm so thankful for youuuu!

Josh has a chiropractor appointment scheduled for Wednesday at 10, and I want to make sure he can go. His shoulder has been really bugging him and it's getting to be kind of desperate but it was the earliest time he could get in! I called the hospital and they answered all my questions about discharge time and said the nurses and doctors will just work around our schedule that day and wouldn't be kicking us out before 10am. Oh bless.

And coming in at the bottom of the 'Important List,' but making the list nonetheless...the self-tanner has been applied; nails are done; mom is working on a hilarious poem; an obscene amount of freezer meals are made; I've pre-written a couple blogs; purse has been emptied and switched over to my pre-push-present-Coach-diaper-bag; I've decorated for fall; washed every piece of laundry; changed the sheets; made the beds; deep cleaned every inch of the house; laid out Josh's clothes for our hospital days; pre-chosen our birth announcements; set Josh's vacation responder to kick in on Monday; pre-arranged for Jamie to babysit once a month on a Friday for a real 'date night'; created calendar reminders; finally ordered a couple parenting books; oh...and I might have also packed a small chalkboard for the hospital to chalk baby stats, wrap Maverick beside, and post our Instagram announcement.

So in summary...we scheduled the crap out of labor...and are 100% okay with it.

MmB

Pregnancy Quotes by Josh and Mollie: Part V

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Please read the following with a heavy dose of SARCASM.

"Is our house going to constantly smell like Cheerios and diapers? Do we have Cheerios and diapers in the house right now? Every house or mini van I've ever been in with kids smells like Cheerios and diapers...and we cannot have that. I don't want our house to smell like that." - Josh

"I just can't imagine I'll like kissing another face more than I like kissing yours." - Mollie
"WHO ELSE ARE YOU PLANNING ON KISSING?!" - Josh
"The baby. I'm talking about the baby." - Mollie

To Josh:
"Why are you stressed? People have been having babies since the beginning of time. It's not that hard." - Mollie

"The next time you question me on if I can take Tylenol or Sudafed or anything I'll invite you along to my next Dr. appointment and you can hear from my doctor herself that that is all okay...OH WAIT I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER DOCTOR APPOINTMENT." - Mollie
"That's okay. I'm coming to the only one that matters. If I can find the time." - Josh

"So we're going to have a baby on Monday. I'm so excited my stomach hurts." - Josh

"What do you want to wear on Tuesday while we're at the hospital with your family and Wednesday when we come home? I'm not bringing your clothes because you'll just come home and shower..." - Mollie
***BLANK STARE*** - Josh
"...I'll just lay your clothes out and label each day." - Mollie

UPON OUR ARRIVAL TO THE HOSPITAL ON MONDAY MORNING:

"Soooo what's the mini-bar situation here?" - Josh

"How are you doing?" - Josh

"I'm wearing a diaper so how do you think I'm doing?" - Mollie

"That sounds awesome." - Josh

Commenting on Kanye news on The Today Show Monday morning...
"I just hope to someday to love you as much...as Kanye loves himself." - Josh

MmB