Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The Stay-At-Home-Mom Conundrum

It dawned on my the other day that maybe people keep asking me if I'm going to stay at home or go back to work after the baby is born...because I've never really proclaimed our Future Family Plan from the mountaintop that is our blog. ;)

So for those of you who are wondering...I'll be staying at home, drinking All The Coffee, with the Today Show on from 7-11, trying to keep an infant alive. Mom dates, Library Time, Titus 2 Play Group, Tot Time at the pool, and walks around Ada Hayden are all on my list of mom-dreams that I'm excited to accomplish in this next phase of life.

Two of the reasons I've always wanted to me a mom: 1. It's finally acceptable to spend all day every day at the pool again, and 2. I desperately want to drop my kids off and pick them up each summer at Hidden Acres because I MISS IT THERE SOOOO MUCH AND ADULTS CAN'T BE CAMPERS.

To stay at home? Or to not stay at home? These are the basic, uncomplicated reason's I'll be at home for the foreseeable future...

1. Pretend I took maternity leave for a month or two...that sounds good in theory since my job really isn't that 'hard.' But in 2013 when I got my tonsils out, Tami didn't fare well during my two-week absence. In fact, when I came back she said I could never leave her again...so...replacing me was just absolutely necessary.

2. I work 30 hours a week, and since childcare costs have soared through the roof here in the 'big ole city' (I believe the going rate when I was at the babysitter in the 90's was $1/hour/kid?), some weeks we would probably just break even from my income. Staying home is just a more logical option for us.

3. Josh and Boersma Lawn Care have become a very real job for me. And I don't mean just the laundry and the grocery shopping and the early-morning lunch-making and extra cleaning that is required...that's just the normal stuff. I'm talking about driving to Grand Junction to pick up a spring for the Dixie Chopper at 2pm on a Tuesday. Taking parts to VanWall. Keeping up with the billing that takes longer each week as Josh's grows BLC. Shuttling employees to and from their vehicles when routes and schedules don't line up (I was in my car driving for over FOUR HOURS at one point last week). Taking Josh's phone calls forwarded to my phone so he can spend his time working and not constantly on the phone. Copying truck keys, fixing iPhone screens...Not to mention the marketing duties I've slacked on this spring because I've been too busy with all that stuff I just mentioned. Spring mailers, thank you cards, BLC sign and clothing orders...it would just not be humanly possible to balance C21 AND BLC + Baby and do it all well (the doing it well part is KEY).

4. I really love being at home. I know, I know, "You won't feel that way next winter when your kid is sick and you're trapped inside for three months!" say all the mom's. And that's probably true...but also - I don't think anyone knows how MUCH I love being at home. I've created a space that I love but rarely get to enjoy. And I'm actually really looking forward to that.

I know I won't have hours on end to scrapbook and clean and sew projects and paint while I'm home (that's why I'm on a rampage to get all those things done BEFORE August)...but from what I hear, after the first few months...and with only ONE newborn alien to keep alive...a lot of this is really do-able. It's when #2 and #3 arrive that things get tricky. My sister-in-law painted her guest bedroom a month or two after she had Beau and she has three kiddos. So I guess we'll just have to see what kind of mom-crazy I turn out to be.

5. Mom's who work full-time and complain about never getting to see their babies annoy me. Mom's who stay at home and complain about how they're sick of their kids and are going crazy annoy me. IT IS MY GOAL IN LIFE TO BE NEITHER OF THOSE SO HELP ME GOD. And I think balancing my BLC "job" with mom-life will make that somewhat easier since I'll still have something besides 'mom' as a title to keep my brain busy. Last week I took six of Josh's phone calls one day and thought to myself, "Heck, stay-at-home-mom's complain about never talking to adults...I just talked to adults for almost an hour!" So I think I'm already on to something there. ;)

I kind of had the perfect set-up growing up with a mom who worked Monday, Wednesday, and every-other Friday, plus one Saturday a month. I have fond memories of coming home from school to fresh-baked cookies on the table and watching Arthur after homework was done. I also have fond memories of spending my days at Mary Jo's with my besties in the sandbox and in the little pool on the deck. And one Saturday a month when we woke up and mom was gone, dad attempted a pony-tail and let us help him with his usual Saturday errands. I actually cannot imagine a better arrangement and it's my goal to attempt to somehow accomplish this balance. I didn't realize it at the time, but Jamie and I sort of had it made.

I've heard 'Don't you think you'll miss it?' no less than 41 times. I'm so glad everyone knows how much I love working at C21 and of course I'll miss it! But I also miss sitting in the Design CafĂ© drinking lattes and writing art history papers. And I certainly miss spending my summers atop a lifeguard chair for 10 hours a day. Seasons of life change...it is what it is. And for this season...at home with a baby is where you can find me.

MmB



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