BeePreepared

{ DISCLAIMER: Let me preface this by saying this post is meant to be sarcastic and funny...pleeeeease never take anything I say too seriously. Also, how much does the title of this blog remind you of The Lion King when Scar is singing with the hyenas and taking over Pride Rock? My thoughts exactly.}


"If you wait until you're ready, you'll never have kids."

I am so sick of this sentence. People are constantly telling us that 'waiting' to have kidlits is silly because you can never really be ready for parenthood.

I suppose that's true.

However this logic just doesn't really 'work' for me. I inherently plan things. For the past three years I've been doing everything in my power to make sure we are as prepared as possible so I don't instantly fly into panic mode whenever the bebes come.

Even if that means I spend most of my 20's preparing for kids we don't end up having until we're 30.

Whatever, it's fine.

1. I've been buying flowy shirts, cardigans, and blazers so when the time comes, I don't have to drop $500 on maternity clothes. I even browse the 70% off maternity rack every once in a while, and if I find a shirt for $4, I buy it and hang it at the back of the closet. I tend to think this is really practical. A Facebook friend selling their Old Navy, barely-worn, maternity winter pea-coat for $20? Sure, I'll buy that! Beats having to buy it for $80 in a few years!

There are tonssss of other expenses when preparing to bring a child into the world...and I don't really want to look like a ratty mess in sweatpants constantly for 9 months...so I figure it's a good idea. :)

2. Last summer I read somewhere that just having a baby can cost anywhere from $8,000 to $14,000.

My heart literally stopped.

That is just not happening. I promptly made an appointment to see our insurance man, Craig, to make sure we would not be stuck shelling out 14 grand on a new little blessing at any point in our lives. Come to find out, we will pay 10% of whatever the total hospital bill is.

Turns out we have pretty good health insurance. Huzzah!

And we better have the good stuff for what Josh is forced to pay in private health insurance because he's a small business owner...almost $700 a month?! Three years ago we were paying around $400...I hate Obama. Yep I said it and if you're offended, we probably shouldn't be friends.

3. Kitchen. Carpet. Gone.

This winter it's happening (well I hope it's happening, I think I have Josh 80% of the way talked into it). Tile is going down in the entryways, kitchen, and dining room. I want something that's simple, cheap, durable, and most importantly NOT CARPET. Am I being high maintenance? I'm not sure, do you love cleaning spit-up, soggy Cheerios, baby food, rotten bananas, silly putty, and green beans that have been ground and smeared into the carpet after small children have come to our house to visit for an afternoon?

I don't. This alone is a big enough dose of birth control to last a lifetime.

4. All our friends are having babies. Which is so great, because when I have a question about something, I'll have like, 20 different people I can call for help. There...half the legwork is done for me, right? :)

Josh and I were one of the first couples from our little group of friends to get married. And at times, that was really challenging, kind of lame, and meant we 'grew up' faster than everyone else. We were in a different phase of life and we didn't have many married couples our age to lean on, encourage, and learn from. Of course, I wouldn't trade these past three years for anything...But it will be so nice to have friends who have 'done it all' before us when the time comes.

5. Hand-me-downs!!! If we wait long enough, I'm banking on a decent crop of boy AND girl hand-me-downs from our niece and nephew. In fact, there have actually been times when I've found something adorable for Henley and bought it with the intent of borrowing it back someday.

What? You think Princess Ariel is going out of style?

Try again. The best twirly skirt I owned as a 4-year-old was Princess Ariel.

She's. Timeless.

Yes this post makes it verrrry clear how controlling and obsessive-compulsive I really am. I find that if I can control very unimportant, minor things like my wardrobe and our flooring...I feel better. That's fine, right?

Don't answer that.

MmB