Our Quotable Life

His hands. I can't.

Every once in awhile, conversations happen in this house that make me think...hmm...I think the world would think this is funny. Maybe. Also maybe not.

I figured it was worth a shot to give you guys some laughs...

Text conversation:
"Also. Read your sister's blog about overalls and peeing in them because you can't get out of them. I relate. Totally happened to me."
"Hilarious." - Mollie
"Right?! Like...has this oppression been happening and no one has talked about it until now?!" - Jamie

Watching Last Man Standing:
"I'm Mandy and you're Mike. But that's weird because he's the dad." - Mollie
"Who's your-" - Josh
"STOP." - Mollie

Two of my girlfriends chatting in the kitchen, everyone else outside:
"The first year of marriage was so hard. I felt like I was just really needy and cried all the time."
"I can't see Mollie being like that."
Josh chimes in... "Yeaaaa that was probably more me."

"I'm so glad we didn't get married with tons of debt." - Mollie
"Yea you saw me coming. Just couldn't wait to get a piece of this." - Josh
"Umm. Right. Because the fact that you were debt-free was CLEARLY the sexiest thing about you." - Mollie

Same conversation, a few minutes later...
"If you count what we have in the bank, what we have in receivables then take that against the debt we owe on our house...we're still like $XX,XXX in the hole." - Josh
"OH MY WORD will you STOP acting like a 15-year mortgage is debt we need to pay off overnight?! This reminds me of the time we tried to play The Farming Game with Grandpa Boersma and he wanted to pay back the money he started the game with to pay off his bank note. And the game was over before it even started." - Mollie

"Is 8:30 tonight too late? Look at us old people." - A friend meeting Josh for drinks post bedtime
"Haaaaha remember when we would be like, 'Is MIDNIGHT too late to come out?" - Mollie

Text conversation with Jamie:
"I just went out to eat with a friend from work...going past your house and I need to have a tummyache really bad! Can I use your bathroom?!" - Jamie
"Sorry I was doing bedtime. You coming?" - Mollie
"It's fine! I tooted and feel better and I'm just gunna go home now." - Jamie
"lol waow." - Mollie
"And because I didn't hear from you right away, I was worried you and Josh were ___________ so I didn't wanna walk in your house and poop while you were doing that. It just didn't seem right." - Jamie

"I remember when the Iron Giant came out in theaters." - Josh
"Ya that's because you were a rich kid!" - Mollie (this is a long-running joke where I tell Josh he was a rich kid growing up because he ate name-brand Cheerios and always had chips in the pantry and a trampoline in the back yard...he adamantly denies this to be true)
"No. I remember when it came out because I was delivering papers and I saw when it was playing." - Josh
TOUCHE.

Conversation with G'ma and G'pa at the farm:
"How long did you live in Hawaii while you were in the Army?" - Mollie
"Well, I was there for four months. Junice was there for three, I believe." - G'pa
"That's nice G'ma got to go spend a few months there!" - Mollie
"Well the wives had orders not to come over. We had strict orders. But then I got a letter saying she was coming so I went to talk to my commander and he said 'orders are, no wives.' And I said, it's got nothing to do with orders, she wrote me and she's already on her way!" - G'pa

And that's how Junice DeGroot ignored official United States Army orders so she could have a tropical Hawaiian newlywed adventure with her soldier husband. Because OF COURSE she did that.

"Do you know this song?" - Mollie
"I've heard it before." - Josh
"But do you know the words and who sings it?" - Mollie
*guessing* "The Beetles?" - Josh
"You didn't listen to this kind of music growing up? Ever?" - Mollie
"Well I heard the songs I guess, but it's not like they were playing in our house. We weren't heathens, Mollie." - Josh

Text conversation with a friend concerning the mom-issues of our day...vaccines, oils, and generally people who parent vastly than we do:
"I have TRIED a few oils. They seriously HAVE to be a placebo effect." 
"I'm fine with them. But they are not a replacement for antibiotics. Or ibuprofen. Or Tylenol. Just no." - Mollie
"Precisely. Like, you want to go fragrance free and you like the smell of oils in your home? Perfect. Sounds great. You think they heal your child? Shut up." 

So there's what's making us laugh this week! ;)

MmB