On Breastfeeding...

My happy, healthy, growing baby boy.

I thought I'd give this topic some time before I threw a blog post out there...but I have so many thoughts on the subject. Granted it's only been about five months, but it's been a pretty stellar five months in the breastfeeding department. So I think I'm ready to share some of my thoughts...

For the months (actually years) leading up to Maverick, the articles and blogs and new information and opinions that flood the Internet surrounding the topic of breastfeeding are overwhelming. So naturally it makes sense for me to add my two cents to the hot mess. While there is soooooo much to sort through, it all ended up being weirdly helpful for me to compile and decide how I would approach feeding our baby someday. I just read whatever popped up on my Facebook timeline ranging from the Huffington Post to the Today Show Parenting page to famous bloggers to gals like me who just have cute little blogs for their thoughts. Someone 'liked' something about breastfeeding? Looks interesting enough...click...and so on.

At my very first doctor appointment on January 12th of last year when the nurse asked, "How will you be feeding your baby?" My immediate response was, "Whatever works best for us." From the very beginning I was determined to be laid back about this whole thing if it killed me. To my surprise the nurse replied with, "That's a good attitude to have. The hospital will try and push breastfeeding on you but you need to speak up with what's best for you and your baby."

...as if I've ever had a hard time speaking up about anything.

So along we sailed through pregnancy, still reading whatever came my way, but not obsessing. Still fairly weirded out by the whole thing, but mentally preparing for the first year of Maverick's life in which I was determined to feed him MY way (whatever way ended up being best for us). As I mentioned before, we skipped the birthing/breastfeeding class, because...creepy (other people gesturing to, talking about, and practicing with their boobs? No thanks.). And I figured when you're stuck in the hospital for three days with nothing else to do besides learn to feed the real baby you now have...why not just figure it out then? Women have been feeding their babies since Bible Times...it seriously CANNOT be that hard. EVERYONE JUST NEEDS TO RELAX ABOUT IT.

I recognize that breastfeeding actually is hard...my main point is that I think today we all make it harder than it needs to be. We obsess over how to do every. little. thing...from how many minutes the baby should eat to if he/she should be burped in between sides to the style/brand/shape of  bottles to the safest way to warm up their contents. Again...WE were going to do WHATEVER WORKED BEST.

After I'd been at the hospital for all of 30 minutes, the nurse asked me if I was on any medication and I mentioned some over-the-counter Claritin I'd been taking, the prescription I was taking for the cold sore that decided to surprise me three days before I was scheduled to be induced, and the occasional Sudafed I'd taken in the past week because I'd come down with a nasty cold...as I usually do in the fall when my allergies are at their peak. To my surprise her reply was..."We will need to ask your doctor about that because you can't be on any of those things while you're breastfeeding." I was the picture of relaxed about this, but my first thought was...well...there goes that breastfeeding thing. Lest you think I was just being selfish, I spent about five seconds imagining taking care of a brand new baby while trying to recover myself from giving birth all while being knocked down with fall allergies that almost always turn into a lovely cold which usually results in a cold sore...not good stuff for a brand new momma, let alone a brand new baby. 

But none of this was worth getting worked up over and in the hour I wasn't sure how I would be feeding our baby that was about to enter the world, my mantra was: Breastfeeding is fine. Formula is fine. CLARITIN IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR ME TO SURVIVE RIGHT NOW SO I WILL BE CALM AND WE WILL DO WHATEVER WORKS. Surprise! Doctor Gessner came through and as it turns out, Claritin is fine as long as it's not Claritin D and my other prescription was totally safe too. Score one for Mollie being so laid back she could hardly stand it. Moving on...

I would say the only issue I had in this little breastfeeding journey came within the first 24 at home with Mav. And I expect that's pretty normal whether you're the most prepared mommy in the world or more of a 'winger' like me. The nurses had all been really helpful while we were at the hospital and I even saw my share of lactation nurses/specialists to answer the questions I had. The overwhelming response from all of them was that we were doing great and really had nothing to worry about. But I knew better...

From the blogs I'd read, specifically this one I've been following for years, I knew we were certainly not out of the woods yet. My long-term goal was/is breastfeeding Mav for a year, but my initial goal was just to get through that first week. If breastfeeding turned me into a sore, stressed out, sleepless wreck...we were going to be done. The first weeks and months of Maverick's life were far too precious for me to be preoccupied with stress about feeding him and I wasn't up for forcing something that just wasn't going to work, especially when there are so many other great options.

On Thursday we headed home and immediately realized that each of those lovely nurses had different approaches/opinions/tips/advice. And when I got home and tried to recall and combine all of them...ummm...pure frustration. I recalled a nurse telling me to feed Mav for no more than 10 minutes per side...another nurse had said 15 minutes. One nurse recommended burping Mav in between sides but then he would never eat on the other side because burping put him right to sleep. The general consensus was both sides every time. One nurse recommended I use a shield...but when the shift changed, the next nurse said it totally wasn't necessary and we could do without. I realize that each of these nurses were doing their best to help me and I'm not blaming them at all...but for a hot minute I lost track of my 'what's best for us' approach and poor Maverick had no idea what to do because it was different every. time.

No one had even mentioned pumping to me until about an hour before it was time to go home and the pediatrician checking Mav out before we could leave casually said, "Make sure you're pumping after every time he eats."

Umm...WHAT KIND OF FRESH HELL WAS THIS?

So we made it through the first 24 hours at home feeding Mav every three hours and attempting the breast pump (which made me madder than I've been in YEARS at an inanimate object). Then my nurse-angel-best-friend-Kylie came to visit on Friday and BONUS her twin sister is a certified lactation consultant. If I offer any advice in this whole thing it would be to go right to someone who knows their crap. Like. Really knows it. I was able to ask Kylie my 'whoha' questions and then we got Kim on speaker phone to help me sort though all the breastfeeding advice I'd been fed at the hospital. And let me tell you...from that conversation on it's been nothing but cake. Cake! Which coincidentally I can eat plenty of because...breastfeeding!

These were the three best tips Kim gave me:
1. You're not going back to work so you don't need to worry about pumping. That will tell your body to make more milk than Maverick needs and you will be miserable. Mav will tell you how much he needs and your body will take care of the rest.
2. Put the pump away and don't stress about it for a month (done and DONE).
3. Feeding him on one side at a time and alternating with each feeding is FINE. Lots of women do it.

Side note: To those of you who DO go back to work after 6/9/12 weeks...I salute you. I can't even imagine adding work back into the equation when it comes to feeding babies. Whether it's the time you spend pumping and freezing or an astronomical formula bill or a combination of both...do you, girls. Just DO YOU.

If this isn't a satisfied, full, content baby...I don't know what is.

I'll breakdown what we did because it seems like people are always asking me...

For the first four weeks I fed Maverick on one side at a time. He stayed awake, was content and satisfied when he was done, and hardly ever spit up. He ate every three hours like clock work but would go anywhere from 4-8 hours at night if I kept him on a perfect three hour schedule during the day. I will say, he wasn't great at eating at first so he took a looooong time, but I think that's pretty normal. I stopped clock-watching (which was the main approach in the hospital for EVERYTHING) and just paid attention to Maverick. He told me when he was done and I became more and more confident by the day that we were doing what was best for us.

Around 4-5 weeks he hit a growth spurt and suddenly didn't seem happy with just one side...so we switched to two sides every time, still on a three hour schedule. He was pretty slow so he ate for 10-15 minutes on the first side and then as long as he wanted/needed on the second side. Still hardly ever spitting up and generally content/happy when he was finished. He's always had one or two hiccup nights per week, but for the most part, month two was his best sleep month. He would go down around 10 and sleep until 6 pretty consistently and I was still confident we were doing exactly what was right for us.

Four weeks was when I unearthed Satan's breast pump from the closet and I'll be honest, I tried to be diligent but once I got 20 ounces in the freezer I gave it up. It took so much time; was super inconvenient given that we still had a lot of visitors coming by; I was getting very little each time; and at night (when it was the most convenient time)...I JUST WANTED TO GO TO SLEEP. Given that I'm a SAHM and wasn't going anywhere without Maverick aaaaanytime soon...it still seemed a little pointless, and went back in the closet until I got it out last week. I have yet to regret this decision.

Say what you will about this, but I resorted to using the shield every time Maverick eats. I have been since the beginning (aside from a handful of times we went without at the hospital and the first day home) and I actually kind of love it. It's made me way more comfortable (although it can be a pain if we are out and about somewhere) and I've had essentially zero pain feeding Maverick. Some have asked if he's able to get enough milk this way and, while I really have no way of knowing, I'm positive he is given his happy and content personality. He is a peanut but his doctor has never alluded to the shield being an issue...he's healthy, happy, and growing and if you take one look at his daddy's baby pictures you will know exactly why Maverick was probably always destined to be on the smaller side. 100% confidence on this one too.

When Maverick turned three months old, he really started to hit his stride. Now it's 10 minutes on each side, and wham, bam, thank you ma'am. He did sleep pretty weird from month three to four, but that was a normal regression I'm told and he's back on track for the most part. At four months we switched to a four-hour eating schedule and he's done great...plus I'm able to trick my body into thinking he's eating again at 11:00ish and get 3-4 ounces for the freezer each time. He's taking a bottle like a champ (I think the shield actually had a lot to do with this) and I don't think breastfeeding for these first five months could have gone any better.

It's still so confusing to me why feeding babies is such a controversy. Seriously...why. I'm so happy that I was open to feeding Maverick in whatever way worked from the very beginning, if that meant supplementing with formula or even doing 100% formula. I was truly up for doing amything, regardless of the many opinions I knew I would be faced with as a new mom.

The common phrase, 'Breast is best' certainly does not apply to every mom, baby, and situation (and in my honest opinion it's a creepy, outdated phrase anyway). In my case, it took telling myself for nine months that I was going to 'go with the flow' NO MATTER WHAT, regardless of moms and their opinions swirling around me. In those first 24 hours, when I went back to ignoring everyone (but remembered Kim's advice!) and focused on Maverick...that's really when I found my confidence to feed Maverick the way that worked the best for us. ;)

MmB