Maverick's Birth Story

Fair warning, this will probably be the most boring birth story you've ever read...but it's how it went down and to be quite honest...I wouldn't have had it any other way. I actually sort of loved it.

Based on the fact that everyone was telling me an average of four times per week, "You can never be prepared for labor and childbirth!" I thought to myself...ok. Perfect. I won't be. That saves me a lot of reading and worrying and wasting a Saturday at a birthing class. Yes everyone, we skipped the birthing classes because Josh was busy working and I didn't want to go by myself. The breastfeeding class that was recommended seemed silly to me because how do you practice breastfeeding when you DONT HAVE A BABY TO PRACTICE WITH?? And the birthing wing tour that was also recommended seemed downright ridiculous because...won't we be spending three to four days in the birthing wing? Probably a couple hours walking around? Once we got to the hospital, we took our own tour in minutes, found the apple juice and the ice machine and we were set.

We went into this with zero expectations and no real 'birthing plan' to speak of...though I wasn't totally in the dark because I was in the room when my sister-in-law had our nephew last December.

So on Thursday the 27th (pardon the wrong date in my last post) my doctor told me she was on call on Monday the 31st and since I would be past 40 weeks we could schedule an induction. She said it would probably be a long day (first baby...I assumed this was a given) but I didn't really care so I scheduled it, called Josh to tell him, and away we went.

Monday morning the 31st we packed up the car, did a clean sweep of the house, made Jamie wake up to take one last picture of us, and drove to the hospital to check in by 7:30am. It was a little surreal just waltzing up to the birthing floor of the hospital and being like, "Hi ya we're here to have a baby." We got a room at the far end of the wing (which made us feel like we were the only ones in the hospital during our stay) and I started organizing and settling our bags. 

Nurses came to check me in, put in my IV port, and ask me a bunch of questions. Now...I had a list of things on my phone that I wanted to make sure I had clearly communicated because, like I said, I had the opportunity to watch my sister-in-law give birth and had made a few observations and decisions back in December about how I'd like to handle certain situations. So we hit the ground running...

The nurses asked me to put on the hospital gown with the open back and requested I have NOTHING on underneath. For the foreseeable future.

Ehhhh. That wasn't going to work for me. I had a comfy and cute labor outfit planned and I was not going to be walking the halls for hours in that monstoricty for who knows how long. So I let them IV me and break my water (at approx. 8:30am) in the hospital gown but they let me put my gray nightgown and robe AND BRA on right after. With the understanding that I would need to change when it was time for the epidural. Fiiiine with me.

My goal for my time at the hospital (besides having a baby) was to try and feel as comfortable and as much like 'myself' as possible. This included sparkly hospital bags, cute and coordinated outfits, and mascara on at all times.

Among the questions about smoking, drug use, and drinking during pregnancy...came the questions about breastfeeding and skin-to-skin contact. I was ready to answer these...I was up for the good old college try with breastfeeding (it's going well btw and I've lost 30 pounds so we will be riding that train as long as possible or at least until I decide it's weird), but the skin-to-skin...I was very clear about them wiping Maverick off before handing him to me. VERY clear. And to my surprise, they added it to my chart and didn't even argue with me. 

But they circled back around to the bra thing. Saying it would need to be off in order to do proper skin-to-skin after he had arrived. I pretended to be agreeable but had no plans of being naked and bra-less in a room full of people AT ANY POINT no matter what was recommended.

This is how we rocked skin-to-skin cuddling in the hospital. Fully clothed aaaaand appropriate.

There was a shift change with nurses and my new nurse suggested to me in order to get things 'going naturally' we could try 'nipple stimulation'...to which I point blank replied, 'ummm no that creeps me out.' I was sweet but direct and those amazing nurses at Mary Greeley basically let me to whatever I wanted. Which did NOT include nipple stimulation. She left and Josh said, 'Uhhh what did they mean by that?' And once I explained he agreed...it's creepy.

I never hopped in the whirlpool, but had that happened, I was prepared. Yes folks, I threw in my cheetah swimsuit because there was no way I was going to be getting in and out of a bathtub in front of strangers and Josh completely naked. It was just not going to happen. My mom said I was being ridiculous but I still think taking a swimsuit was a great idea and I would totally recommend it.

Josh and I walked some halls for a couple hours, watched The Today Show, Josh snuck me an iced vanilla latte from Burgie's aaaand around noon we got news from one of the mowing crews that a mower had gone down in Ankeny. We live stupidly close to the hospital and it was already looking like we would need to settle in because the fireworks were going to take a while...so Josh ran to Ankeny and back in about an hour and we agreed to start pitocin as soon as he got back.

At 2:00pm, six hours after my water broke, nothing had changed. Seriously. They started me on pitocin, upping it every half hour and I sent Josh home to get all our seasons How I Met Your Mother since now it was very clear we would be in for the long haul. Which I was fine with. This was scheduled, everything was taken care of, and my only job was to sit there and get ready to have a baby, no matter how long it took.

At this time, I hadn't had a single painful contraction. They kept telling me I was having them, but I barely felt anything. This was all BEFORE the epidural, mind you. After I was at the max dosage of pitocin that they were willing to give me (25 ML or something?) I was STILL not feeling anything. We watched TBS and I remember contractions  starting to hurt around the time Seinfeld was on...which is between 6 and 7 I think? I waited them out until I couldn't 'talk' through them anymore and my Anastesioligist Savior arrived with that glorious epidural around 10pm...After I had given in and changed into the hospital gown. 

And then I was in heaven. Josh and I just relaxed and cuddled and watched more HIMYM and slept all night. It was truly amazing. My sleep was interrupted every half hour when they came to check Mav's heart rate and my blood pressure (at one point I was soooo relaxed my blood pressure was at 81/53) and helped me turn over so I could sleep on my other side. But surprisingly I still had a lot of control over my body even though I was all warm and numb and tingly. Nurses kept telling me I wasn't even 'floppy' and that my 'epidural must have taken really well' and I was all like 'well thanks guys!' 

I specifically remember my favorite nurse, named Mandi...I kept mentioning how so many people have so many opinions on being induced or having epidurals and my favorite quote of the night from her was, 'All those women got to have their babies the way they wanted, and you get to have your baby the way you want.' Bless her.

Morning came and went. I requested the Today Show be turned back on because I enjoyed being distracted by meaningless news and pop culture in the midst of pushing and contractions. I got to cuddle up and lay on my side and sleep/rest in between pushes. When this process started around 9:45am, the nurse who was helping me looked at Josh and said, "Ok dad, you hold that leg and help." And I immediately thought to myself...Hmm...this is something I hadn't communicated. Immediately following that first push Josh stood up as white as the sheets and said, "I think I need to sit down." The nurses got him some toast and I had time to instruct everyone on what would happen going forward...Josh would sit beside me but he would not be holding any legs at any point thank you very much. 

A few hours went by, I changed the channel to E!, my doctor kept coming in to see how things were going, tons of nurses kept coming in and out getting everything in the room ready. I think Josh was pretty bored at this point because we'd been at this thing for more than 24 hours but time went by pretty fast for me until those last two hours. And then it was finally showtime and Maverick arrived at 12:14pm. 

Something I was a slightly shocked by. Even with an epidural, I was pretty surprised about how much everything still hurt. Some women want a natural childbirth because they want to 'feel' like they had a baby. I'm here to tell you...I FELT LIKE I HAD A BABY. I felt the whole thing for those last two hours. The contractions didn't hurt in my tummy...but the epidural doesn't cover...certain other places. I don't know how else to describe it without being offensive. Just trust me.

There was no screaming...I didn't yell at Josh...I didn't squeeze his hand off (I really only held his hand for about the last 30 seconds)...none of those cliches exist in this birth story. I know it might be obnoxious to say but labor and birth the way we did it really wasn't a big deal. I kept saying to Josh whenever he would get anxious or worried about something...women have been having babies since the beginning of time. IT IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. And it really wasn't. 

Maverick only looked like an alien for 10 minutes and I was thrilled. He had hair and I was thrilled. He had Josh's toes and I thought...well we can't have it all. ;) They cleaned him all off, wrapped him up, and Josh got to hold him for a long time while I was...in the middle of some other things. It was all perfect and I got away with keeping my bra on. Woo! Once it was time for a diaper change and I had myself together a little bit more (literally) I told the nurses we had brought our own sleeper, hat, and swaddling blanket (all coordinated and adorable) and they let us put him in whatever we wanted, WHICH I LOVED! I hate those hospital hats and blankets and I am also not a fan of sleep sacks, specifically on boys because they look like dresses...Enter: My favorite raccoon sleeper. Then rather than texting every single person on our list his information, that chalkboard I threw in saved us a lot of time and doubled as an adorable Facebook/Insta announcement.

So now that I've explained all of that about labor...I'll tell ya. After labor is a different story. I'll leave almost everything out but I'll share two quotes because...even in disgusting situations like this I was somehow still able to find humor.

To my doctor:

"Kim Kardashian said her vagina looked better after she had a baby than it did before. Was that a lie?" -Me

"She probably had some plastic surgery immediately after birth." -Dr. Gessner 

"So is that something you can do now orrrrr...??"

***Somehow my doctor was around for all 27 hours of labor AND came to check on me twice a day. I want her to schedule and deliver all our babies.***

To my nurses when I was having a bleeding issue and they were concerned:

"How are you feeling? Your face is very pale." -Nurse

"I look pale?! I tried so hard to be tan!" -Me

"Well right now your body doesn't match your face." -Nurse

And that's pretty much all. God blessed us with the most perfect gift either of us could imagine and we can't believe how adorable and wonderful (and easy!) Maverick is. He gets approximately 897 kisses per day and we love our new life and our little family of three. 

-MmB